2dcc:

take me to a museum. kiss me on the steps. shove the Mona Lisa up my ass

(via prejaculate)

getsby:

"ur bra strap is showing" u say

children begin to scream

tears r streaming down my face

my parents disown me and sell me to a shady, moustached man for three goats

no one can ever kno i wear a bra

(via john-lennons-sexy-thighs)

giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

(via john-lennons-sexy-thighs)